I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.