I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
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okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
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I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.