Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (215)

Last Night in Pennsylvania (215)

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.

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(215): Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video. http://tfl.nu/ct0i

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I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...

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just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"

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(215): I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory... (1-215): just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!" http://tfl.nu/238t

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my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.

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so you are graduating this semester.

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(484): my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete. (215): so you are graduating this semester. http://tfl.nu/j7mj

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it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.

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(215): it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target. http://tfl.nu/jyhf

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judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.

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sounds about right

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(215): judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend. (609): sounds about right http://tfl.nu/kfa3

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It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it

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(215): It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it http://tfl.nu/0xgu

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I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up

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(215): I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up http://tfl.nu/xoz1

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I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus

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(215): I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus http://tfl.nu/7gt9

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bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.

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(215): bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista. http://tfl.nu/gval

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can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night

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(215): can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night http://tfl.nu/b1z7

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I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.

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(215): I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang. http://tfl.nu/znwa

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If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.

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(215): If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will. http://tfl.nu/oylu

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I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...

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(215): I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands... http://tfl.nu/sf3a

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Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts

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(215): Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts http://tfl.nu/dne4

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there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round

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(215): there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round http://tfl.nu/fnz0

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Last Night in Pennsylvania (215)

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