i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
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I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
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Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good