We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.