so much tequila, so little girl.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.