We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.