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you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
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