Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just want to make out with him forever
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.