I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I just want to make out with him forever
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like