i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
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Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
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How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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