So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The uberlube is also flammable
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
