The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
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Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just gift wrapped bread.