If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.