she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position