how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
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It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just gift wrapped bread.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
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No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.