That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.