I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year