You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
