Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions