Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.