Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots