Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.