Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ohio (513)

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN

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  (513): direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN http://tfl.nu/vd6u
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.

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  (513): I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again. http://tfl.nu/s5qg
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  I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.

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  (513): I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand. http://tfl.nu/20vi
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  The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?

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  (513): The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU? http://tfl.nu/gpmz
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  he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour

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  its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem

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  (574): he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour (513): its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem http://tfl.nu/ygfh
  Replies (6) Good night (721) Bad night (2896)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had

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  please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..

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  (513): i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had (484): please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake.. http://tfl.nu/zph1
  Replies (29) Good night (653) Bad night (2895)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.

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  (513): literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night. http://tfl.nu/en91
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  im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.

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  (513): im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped. http://tfl.nu/kvpg
  Replies (1) Good night (841) Bad night (2756) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.

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  (513): I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House. http://tfl.nu/zhy5
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  what's Bukake?

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  a bad idea.

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  (513): what's Bukake? (1-513): a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/i91o
  Replies (31) Good night (1056) Bad night (2736) Order T-Shirt
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  Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.

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  (513): Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies. http://tfl.nu/w2rz
  Replies (33) Good night (496) Bad night (2701) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....

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  (513): CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now.... http://tfl.nu/m585
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.

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  (513): i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot. http://tfl.nu/7qf7
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.

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  (513): you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression. http://tfl.nu/ehn5
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified

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  (513): Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified http://tfl.nu/jq99
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