Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
we're so committed to being not committed
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.