Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (503)

Last Night in Oregon (503)

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I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.

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(503): I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too. http://tfl.nu/alyx

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College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.

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(503): College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk. http://tfl.nu/e4bz

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You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.

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(503): You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine. http://tfl.nu/60jl

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Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.

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(503): Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting. http://tfl.nu/fbmg

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since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either

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(503): since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either http://tfl.nu/9xmp

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we need to find an occasion to wear tutus

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(503): we need to find an occasion to wear tutus http://tfl.nu/4dk7

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Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?

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(503): Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me? http://tfl.nu/fx2p

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There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order

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(503): There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order http://tfl.nu/v9bj

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Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.

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(503): Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack. http://tfl.nu/t9kk

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I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?

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(503): I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!? http://tfl.nu/h2a2

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I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.

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(503): I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken. http://tfl.nu/j72e

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I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?

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yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.

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(503): I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan? (1-503): yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case. http://tfl.nu/ztrg

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So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.

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(503): So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep. http://tfl.nu/t5yr

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There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.

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(503): There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to. http://tfl.nu/acu8

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bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?

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(503): bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing? http://tfl.nu/vn0z

Replies (1) Good night (1427) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt

Last Night in Oregon (503)

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