Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Oregon (503)

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  Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.

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  (503): Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day. http://tfl.nu/x1ay
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  Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.

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  (503): Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur. http://tfl.nu/hsyp
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  That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.

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  THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO

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  (503): That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal. (1-503): THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO http://tfl.nu/95vh
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  Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.

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  (503): Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here. http://tfl.nu/jknc
  Replies (13) Good night (946) Bad night (360)
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  Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.

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  (503): Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in. http://tfl.nu/17i8
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  It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.

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  I'm dying.

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  (503): It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me. (541): I'm dying. http://tfl.nu/wgmh
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  It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night

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  (503): It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night http://tfl.nu/ctpp
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  I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.

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  (503): I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend. http://tfl.nu/inq1
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  Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.

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  (503): Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination. http://tfl.nu/nd2x
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  He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..

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  (503): He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long.. http://tfl.nu/2c8x
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  Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!

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  Not okay.

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  (503): Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car! (503): Not okay. http://tfl.nu/moe1
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  I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.

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  (503): I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else. http://tfl.nu/cpkz
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  Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.

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  (503): Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon. http://tfl.nu/he7t
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  And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.

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  (503): And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company. http://tfl.nu/g17w
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  Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol

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  (503): Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol http://tfl.nu/9mqs
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