I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me