Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
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I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
it was like his penis was on wheels.
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Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.