So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
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New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
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Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.