She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize