I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Found your bra
Hanging in the tree
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that