Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.