It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
what if I'm pregnant?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
the vacuum is drunk
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
i dont own pink underwear
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...