my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
the vacuum is drunk
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
i dont own pink underwear
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...