..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"