Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college