i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.