Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.