just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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