It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.