Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Puerto Rico (787)

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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions

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  (787): antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions http://tfl.nu/y7o6
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work

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  (787): I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work http://tfl.nu/djbl
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads

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  Croutons?

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  (787): He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads (1-787): Croutons? http://tfl.nu/yr5t
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  I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?

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  (787): I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now? http://tfl.nu/uqqo
  Replies (8) Good night (594) Bad night (1330) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months

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  (787): Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months http://tfl.nu/wlwj
  Replies (4) Good night (937) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking

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  (787): Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking http://tfl.nu/wzvh
  Replies (3) Good night (910) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
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  Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM

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  (787): Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM http://tfl.nu/4phi
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.

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  (787): I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers. http://tfl.nu/zztx
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (780) Order T-Shirt
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  I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.

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  (787): I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth. http://tfl.nu/to4d
  Replies (5) Good night (786) Bad night (962) Order T-Shirt
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  He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.

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  (787): He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him. http://tfl.nu/klex
  Replies (21) Good night (4463) Bad night (974) Order T-Shirt
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  Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt

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  (787): Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt http://tfl.nu/aoj7
  Replies (4) Good night (3273) Bad night (1182) Order T-Shirt
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  He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men

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  (787): He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men http://tfl.nu/yhmj
  Replies (13) Good night (2044) Bad night (3064) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while

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  (787): 1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while http://tfl.nu/u6qo
  Replies (17) Good night (1174) Bad night (7027)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.

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  (787): She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work. http://tfl.nu/8rxz
  Replies (39) Good night (853) Bad night (4186) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  you smoke with your eyes?

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  (203): i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed (787): you smoke with your eyes? http://tfl.nu/xom7
  Replies (8) Good night (2238) Bad night (974)