I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads