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antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
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