just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined