There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.