My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat