Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.