Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
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Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
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Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.