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The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
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