Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Follow @tfln