he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.