Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail