I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.