Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Alberta, CA (403)

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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,

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  (403): Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20, http://tfl.nu/h2dw
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  All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?

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  (403): All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for? http://tfl.nu/dlqr
  Replies (22) Good night (3577) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
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  Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money

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  (403): Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money http://tfl.nu/gvry
  Replies (6) Good night (1528) Bad night (913) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.

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  (403): I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick. http://tfl.nu/pw1i
  Replies (8) Good night (2459) Bad night (418) Order T-Shirt
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  Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.

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  (403): Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit. http://tfl.nu/379t
  Replies (9) Good night (2699) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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  You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.

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  (403): You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck. http://tfl.nu/6fxi
  Replies (4) Good night (1268) Bad night (382)
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  He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza

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  (403): He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza http://tfl.nu/hh1z
  Replies (3) Good night (1573) Bad night (418) Order T-Shirt
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  Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.

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  Wait. Someome brought slutcake?

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  (403): Christ, I really took the slutcake last night. (1-403): Wait. Someome brought slutcake? http://tfl.nu/hkv2
  Replies (9) Good night (1976) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.

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  (403): I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally. http://tfl.nu/1q5b
  Replies (4) Good night (1038) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
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  I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..

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  Wow. We're meant to be..

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  (403): I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask.. (587): Wow. We're meant to be.. http://tfl.nu/3d3s
  Replies (13) Good night (2490) Bad night (490)
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  I'm off the liquor

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  You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick

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  (403): I'm off the liquor (1-403): You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick http://tfl.nu/sglp
  Replies (7) Good night (1868) Bad night (520) Order T-Shirt
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  You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.

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  (403): You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark. http://tfl.nu/dx9e
  Replies (16) Good night (2140) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  next time we drink: battle shots.

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  battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.

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  (403): next time we drink: battle shots. (1-403): battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out. http://tfl.nu/hwdw
  Replies (9) Good night (1068) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
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  I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?

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  (403): I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing? http://tfl.nu/frkv
  Replies (8) Good night (1050) Bad night (1534) Order T-Shirt
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  Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs

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  (403): Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs http://tfl.nu/f0zi
  Replies (3) Good night (2311) Bad night (762) Order T-Shirt