I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
