Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I got copblocked.
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.