obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I spit up blood this morning
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.