woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she told me i tasted like america
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.