I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.