trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives