Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.