no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.