Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.