Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (516)

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  (516): View more from New York

  U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by

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  (516): U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by http://tfl.nu/oseu
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  (516): View more from New York

  Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.

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  (516): Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night. http://tfl.nu/4blv
  Replies (6) Good night (748) Bad night (387) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick

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  (516): oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick http://tfl.nu/bh3i
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  (516): View more from New York

  Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.

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  (516): Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly. http://tfl.nu/i5qz
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  Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.

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  (516): Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy. http://tfl.nu/8uc8
  Replies (10) Good night (857) Bad night (379) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.

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  (516): 8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine. http://tfl.nu/fqbx
  Replies (10) Good night (2099) Bad night (377) Order T-Shirt
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  People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.

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  (516): People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall. http://tfl.nu/80cl
  Replies (7) Good night (1824) Bad night (377)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal

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  (516): i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal http://tfl.nu/qt14
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  (516): View more from New York

  Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame

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  (516): Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame http://tfl.nu/dqi5
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  (516): View more from New York

  He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.

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  (516): He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever. http://tfl.nu/8pla
  Replies (4) Good night (1933) Bad night (369)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"

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  (516): I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park" http://tfl.nu/phni
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  (516): View more from New York

  I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?

  (1-516): View more from New York

  I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.

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  (516): I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in? (1-516): I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift. http://tfl.nu/715b
  Replies (3) Good night (1269) Bad night (363)
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  History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.

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  (516): History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad. http://tfl.nu/o7dx
  Replies (3) Good night (1448) Bad night (361) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count

  (516): View more from New York

  then nothing in my life counts

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  (860): official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count (516): then nothing in my life counts http://tfl.nu/4fe8
  Replies (8) Good night (1686) Bad night (354)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.

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  (516): Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet. http://tfl.nu/uizc
  Replies (16) Good night (2721) Bad night (313) Order T-Shirt