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I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
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