I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
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Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
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We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.