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Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
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